Ladies Only: How to Get More Dances

Bachata Dancing, Culture, Salsa Dancing

Check Out Some Tips To Get More Dances



How is it that some ladies who want to dance will spend their time, energy, and money, to groom themselves, and show up at a Salsa event only to hang around the edge of the dance floor for most of the night?

Let’s explore some possible reasons you may not be dancing as much as you’d like as well as tips on how to get more dances?

Open Your Mouth

How To Get More Dances

Gone are the days when it is inappropriate for a lady to ask a guy to dance.  If you want to dance and don’t get asked as often as you like, then feel free to ask a guy to dance.  Some guys may be too intimidated or afraid of being rejected to ask you.  Yeah…seriously.

Are You in A Bad Spot?

Here’s what I mean.  If you’re over in the corner 30 feet away from the dance floor, then it’s no wonder. “Out of sight, out of mind” applies here.  If guys don’t see you, then they won’t ask you.  Further, staying away from the edge of the dance floor is sometimes interpreted as meaning that you don’t want to dance.  My recommendation is that you stand near the edge of the dance floor.

Are You Paying Attention?

If your head is buried in your iphone, then you are less likely to be asked.  The same goes for being in conversation with your girlfriend.  The time to talk with friends is during the middle of the song if you didn’t get asked to dance.  At the end of the song, stop your talking and face the dance floor.  Right when the song ends, make eye contact with guys that just finished dancing.  This is when they are looking for their next partner.  Eye contact signals that you are available to dance with them.

Right when the song ends, make eye contact with guys that just finished dancing.

Are You Ready?

This goes back in part to the iphone thing.  Having a phone, or a drink or your purse in your hand signals that you are not ready.  At the end of a song, make sure that your hands are free.  That way, the guy doesn’t have to wait for you to find a spot to set things down.  By then the best spots on the floor are possibly filled. 

Do You Look Like a Salsera

Imagine this.  Five inch heels.  Five inch nails.  Five inch long dangling earrings.  Five massive finger rings.  Five bangles per arm.  Lastly, a bright shiny necklace hanging five inches below the five dollar bill clearly stuck between your money makers.  All of this bling signals that you do not have very much experience…… when it comes to dancing Salsa.  More experienced dancers won’t want to dance with someone where they fear accessories will get in the way of the quality of the dance.  In essence, too long, too short, too flashy can minimize your opportunities….when it comes to dancing. 


When a guy’s focus is on the dance, he is less likely to dance with someone who will have to spend too much time during the dance trying to prevent a wardrobe malfunction with a top that is too low, or a skirt that is too high.  That type of distraction will result in missed hand requests during the dance.  If his focus is on something other than the dance, then these things won’t be an issue….especially if you’re dancing Bachata

Related Article:  Salsa Dress Code-What to Wear When Salsa Dancing

How To Get More Dances

Have You Been Pissed On?

What!?  Let me explain.  How do animals mark their territory?  They pee all around it.  How do guys signal to other guys that you are with them and other guys need to tread lightly?  They hover around you.  You know what I mean.  Your guy, or the guy who thinks he’s your guy, is up in your ear.  He’s trying to keep his hand around your waist, etc.  Salseros will often pass on asking you for a dance if another guy is hovering too closely too often.

I Shouldn’t Have to Mention This One…Again

Sing it with me…”A sprinkle a day, helps keep odor away…”  It doesn’t much matter where you go to dance, there will always by that guy or that girl who just doesn’t get the BO thing.  Some of us need more help here than others.  Shower…with soap.  A clean shirt/top….preferably dried with a nice spring fresh sheet of “Bounce”.  A non-generic brand of deodorant.  A spritz of eau de fantastic in your purse or glove box.  Nuff said.

Ease Up on the Altoids

I’m not talking about bad breath here.  I mean the scrunched up face you make when your mouth is adjusting to the potency.  When a guy is scanning the room for his next dance partner, if you look like you’re ready to chew someone’s head off, or you look bored, indifferent, or arrogant, then you’ll likely miss a dance at times.  A gentle smile and eye contact works wonders.

If you look like you’re ready to chew someone’s head off….you’ll likely miss a dance.

Got Skills?

Face it.  A skilled dancer is a more enjoyable partner than one who can’t stay on beat and doesn’t know how to follow a lead.  Take a class…or two, or 60.  The combination of taking classes and dancing socially will drastically improve your Salsa skills.  How fast you grow as a dancer is in direct relation to the number of hours you spend on a dance floor actually dancing…not just holding a drink.  Don’t think that because you are not an average sized lady that you can’t grow your dance skills.  I’ve seen ladies that are extra tall or plus sized who can put most skinny girls to shame with how they throw down on the dance floor.  You can do this!

Showing Off

One of the things that makes a skilled salsera less appealing is showing off.  Yes, we want to see our partner look good and add that lovely ladies styling to her dance.  However, there is a limit.  If you have a reputation for over styling, then that’s a problem.  Some ladies are so focused on showing off with styling that they miss hand requests.  When that happens a lot, then that guy may not pick you next time if he has another comparable dancer available.  Keep it up and you develop a reputation for not being a good follow.  Balance is beautiful.

Related Article: Salsa Burnout-Maintains Your Enthusiasm for Salsa Dancing

Talk Back Ear smallTalk Back: Tell us what your thoughts are on how to get more dances.   We’d love to know where we left something out that should be mentioned or where your perspective may differ. Let us know.

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